Bay and Jobay, two wily friends came up with a better ploy to get free dinner. Used to be they tried to crash weddings but more and more the ruse became difficult and expensive. First of all they had to wear formal garb which was uncomfortable and costly. Secondly, seating arrangements became de rigueur which made it harder to pose as some nameless guest. To top it all, swiping an invitation with the meal coupon enclosed always remained a complicated obstacle to hurdle.
Bay and Jobay found it easy to blend with the grievers at a funeral gathering. They could come in casual attire and didn’t have to go through a lot of screening. No invitations or meal tickets were required. People were careful to pick a conversation and normally would assume that a strange face came from the in-law side of the deceased, or office colleagues, and maybe even social acquaintances or club associates. Usually saying you were one the neighbors was enough to pass muster. More mourners play up the importance of the deceased in his past life.
The dinner fare in such funeral gatherings was usually a sumptuous buffet. The well heeled social bigwigs try to outdo each other in hiring the best caterers from the five star hotels. The classiest place to lie in wake was the Forbes Park memorial chapels, which snob appeal is to die for. There the families with the less number of main courses of hot and cold dishes displayed in a shorter buffet table are looked down upon as social climbers or pretenders. The runner up in memorial chapels to be seen in a casket is the busier one at Magallanes Village.
Bay and Jobay had the time of their life partaking of the delicious items on the menu like prime rib, baked ham, mouth watering selections of pasta, salad, cakes and pastries for dessert, and unlimited coca cola. They thought of bringing doggie bags to secretly stuff goodies to take out but had second thoughts as they might get noticed in the round tables where they had to sit to eat the repast. Sometimes a curious seatmate would ask them how they were related to the celebrant in the urn or the casket. This was the most delicate part of the evening that they had to tackle.
Bay and Jobay devised a script to tide them over during such interrogations. Jobay would recount some tall tale about the past life of the dead person wherein the latter played a hero’s role to save Jobay’s life. Jobay would then get lost in inconsolable sobs and be so stricken to be able to continue. Bay would come to his rescue and usher him to the comfort room to be revived.
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It was during a wake in Magallanes that the two were caught in their lie. The guest who questioned them got the shock of his life when he heard the reenactment. It turned out the deceased person was a paraplegic all his life who spent almost his entire life in and out of hospitals. Bay got up and tried to rescue Jobay by saying they probably entered the wrong chapel. Bay said they were supposed to visit the other funeral next door. That can’t be the one who saved the life of Jobay either, the man grew more incredulous. The dead at the other chapel was a stillbirth.
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JOJO BINAY PLEASE BE OUR PRESIDENT MOVEMENT
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As they walked wearily with embarrassment to the car they were surprised to observe a group of people clustered around their vehicle. They got the shock of their lives when they found the faces familiar. They were all the dead people they visited in the wakes where they partook of the free meals. Bay and Jobay tried to run away but their feet seemed stuck to the ground. That’s when the whole group encircled them with smiles on their faces and thanked them for praying at their memorial service.
They said that they were happy in the realm of spirits as God Particles of the Abba Krishna. They found out that life in the domain of the Abba Krishna after death is much happier and more fulfilling than life as material forms on earth. This is the message they wanted to communicate to their loved ones who were left behind. It was up to Bay and Jobay to pass it on to their relatives. Their modus operandi to attend funeral services each night to get free meals vested Bay and Jobay with the opportunity to be a conduit of the enlightenment about the after life to the grieving survivors so they can have peace of mind to know that their departed loved ones are reunited with the Abba Krishna in fulfillment and blessedness.
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